The exact picture I had in my head

found this on YouTube... I don't know how should i explain..but I had tears in my eyes when i watched this. so emo, right? i think only li ren and yinfong and lionel and felix will know what i mean. that was pure moment of joy.

Peanut butter jelly

sigh. it's the end of my weekend, which means 3 more weeks to exams and hell. how in the name of Mark Taylor i'm going to remember all those parasites and fungi??? and bloody ah bian is not helping in lecture either, he is sssoooo arrogant that he didn't even realized that he's making a mistake. gosh, how i wish this will end. and lab is going to start soon. it turns out my first draft of the research proposal is a crap-take off the sleepless nights!! thank god alonso is nice at correcting my mistakes, i am so so relief that she say its ok for me to make mistakes and learn from it. i think i have really found a good p.i that push me to the limit. will i love the lab work? well, only time will tell. if my project is successful, i'm going to co-author the published paper with yilin the postgrad student aka my mentor aka the smart one and the team. the thought of it seems so unreal..maybe i should start to have a lil bit confidence in myself. yup. i should.

finally done with my gek poster! wah, i'm lovin adobe indesign, ahem ahem, such a pro at it now. hehe. after exams, i'm going to design a booklet to reminisce my UCLA days with the gang!! one year anniversary leh...time really flies~~


and oh, i didn't manage to secure a place in pgp for next semester. shit. there goes my cca points. which means i'll have to source for alternatives outside of campus. and to travel in and out of school squeezing with the same species in buses and trains. there goes the $ i have to save for the trip to Oz/London with the backpackers. =( ok. i am going to get a job this holiday......

simple things are not meant to be taken for granted. like switching your lights and fans off when you are not using it. and yes make your laptop go to sleep. on 29th march 2008, several global cities like bangkok, san francisco, LA, vancouver, manila..unfortunately not singapore (NUS is going for it!), will take part in a simple one hour event. that is by shutting down all the lights in business and homes. for one hour. a simple yet powerful gesture of millions of people towards global warming. sydney is the first city in the world to step out and voice their concerns. i was amazed that they are able sustained a year of greenhouse reduction by doing this. wow. can you imagine how much reduction we will make if all the cities in the world participate?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxu3MluKl8A

yes! save the polar bears! save the penguins!

This made my day =)

smell it. smell it. now take it...-__-

what a good game. man utd against liverFool erm pool. =) actually i was hesitated to watch. then i heard the screams from downstairs. i knew man u had scored. yeap. indeed. so i rushed to the bf who's at blooies. man the service there seriously suck. since they changed the people there. if it's not for the live soccer match...but still, it was a good game. it was supposed to be 7-0 instead of 3-0. and ronaldo oozed sexiness and style. yum. i bet red devil's fan are cheering across the globe now.

been really stressful for the past weeks. i just lost track of something. or everything. it feels like i'm looking for something elusive. yet nowhere near there. and my inner critic has been really mean to me these few days. it just won't shut up. it has been hurting me. and him as well. so i say to myself this isn't what i want. this is probably what others expect me to be. it is tough living in someone else's expectations. like a once a friend told me, unfortunately in singapore (and probably anywhere else), your self-worth is determined by the grades you score in sch, the amount of money you earn when work and the type of car you drive on AYE/ERP. that is a typical singaporean friend. and i was actually blinded by this. i was. self-worth. how can someone even measure it that way? so if we are not owning any of the above means we're a loser in the society? my inner critic kept telling me not to be a loser...and that sucked my smile away. for quite sometime. and after Mitch Albom's stuff. i had made up my mind.

it is time to live consciously, of MY OWN expectations. with courage of course. one last time.

Yesterday

yesterday,
all my troubles seemed so far away,
now it looks as though they're here to stay,
oh, i believe in yesterday

suddenly,
i'm not half the girl i used to be,
there's a shadow hanging over me,
oh, yesterday came suddenly

why he
had to go i don't know
he wouldn't say,
i said
something wrong,
now i long for yesterday

23

yup. my age. suddenly feel so old today. had a really nice surrrprise from the gang at pgp r5. thaanks everyone who came down from pgp, rvr and kr. =) thaanks for making me feel so LOVED! thankkss liren for the de.li.cious awfully choc cake and another sweet surprise in the morning-i was expecting a wallet cuz e old wan goin to cui already. yup but didnt expect it to be from coach! sigh now i just want to keep it in its pretty box away from all the dust. ha. and thaasks to my lovely frens for the GIFTS! really thoughtful =)

i am a happy girl today. even the bad infectious results didnt seem to be so bad after all. i will not make myself unhappy or watsoever with this. cuz life is so much more better. if we see it in a different angle. yup sister if u reading this. see life in a way you want to see it. postitively. let the past be a guide, and not holding on to it. =) cheers.

i am. so overwhelmed. with work. GOD. give me. strength. to move on.

corns and butter

ok. so i screwed up the negative marking ca again. shit. too many 'tikams'. i suddenly got all the viruses and microbes mixed up. gosh hate nus exams. and nus. and exams.

the other day, a close friend of mine asked me few unanswerable questions..what are you going to do after you graduate? work of continue masters? are you going to stay in singapore for long? are you going to marry the bf of yours?? -__-" duh..i wish i knew the ans, but que sera sera the future is not ours to see dear.

well, 1st of all and all! i'm going to W.O.R.K after i graduate because i need to makan and hidup dengan sempurnanya..i mean, i would love to continue if i'm given the chance to fulfill my graduate studies..who wouldn't right? and i will have to clear my 3 years bond with the singapore gov before i can officially leave this tiny mini island, which means my future residence will most probably be in a tiny hdb hole in the excess of homo sapiens. not good. because i want house with gardens and backyards where i can plant my favorite flowers, and where my golden retriever can have a space on his own. sigh. therefore, conclusion i HOPE i will not stay here for long. neither do i HOPE to relocate back to malaysia. too chaotic and politics.

so, i will go wherever the wind blows..south africa, australia, north america, BACK to LOS ANGELES. ha, that will be my ideal future home. living the american dream. it is really hard to describe why ppl are lure to america, you'll have to experience it yourself to truly understand the meaning of it. people there (aunt lai, aunt yen, yinfong's sis etc) seems to ENJOY their life and work there. people here in singapore/malaysia seems to COMPLAIN and COMPARE a lot, and i seriously dislike this type of mentality and work ethics.

and will i marry my present bf?? whao..that's a tough question. of cuz, i don't intend to remain single for the rest of my life. bcuz at the end of the day, it is comforting to know that someone will always have your back no MATTER how strong or resilient or independent you are. and someone to share my sorrows and happiness. so we'll see...haha. i will give myself six to seven more years..

allrite, now back to my lab report. gotta crash it by sunday. monday need to go cels, tues got cels lab meeting. oh man, looks like i'm working out quite a lot cuz the lab is freaking on top of the hill. next week got 2 ca. and a poster to hand in by the end of the month.

should i get the delicious canon ixus 860is???

i am not going to sleep tonight. no sleep. no sleep. no sleep. somebody slap me. brain please be guai today. i need you to suck up all the microbes name, properties and diseases.
and after this, i still got tonnes to do. =(
just checked my cca points, only manage to get a mere 30pts. oh no. it's not enufff..i need a least 10 more to secure a place in pgp next sem. =( jia lat.
and he's at mos, clubing with his frens now, apparently one of his buddies got free tix. *pout*

painted my toenails red today. oh boy they looked so cacat. like little fat cheeries. going sour. =( it's better off without the red. gah, i'm laaayyzeey to wipe them off. fat cherries let them be.

progress quite slow on infectious diseases..too many distraction lately. or procrastination perhaps? ha. like how i gleefully paint my toe nails. or blogging when i'm supposed to staardy. sigh. somebody stop me. concentrate!!! i don't understand why nus invited all those guest lecturer from nuh/ah with no teaching experience to teach an lsm level 3000 core module like infectious? half of the time they talked in medical jargons. hello? how do u spell that xxxkkk disease? in case they forgot, we're not doctors. where's the "real" profs who's suppose to TEACH us? those lazy bums. well, maybe they are more concerned of their "prestigious" lab work than us. in case they forgot, we are paying them. they don't teach us furr nothing. =( sod. lecturers. bleah. good ones are rare indeed.

and tomorrow will come. and i will see bee again. and bee will knockie on my door and wake me up. and hugs hugs and muaks muaks. and i will be little miss sunshine again.

Cutie

I was literally S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D these few days, with two heavy CAs coming up this week and with all those mind overworked. And suddenly Ren sent me a pic of this....

It's Chat Zai with his abs streamer!! I was squealing in front of my comp! Thanks baby!!!

--Happie Eight Months--